Testing

It's funny that when you ask God for a Word, it can come through the unlikeliest place. Today mine came through the parking attendant. I looked sad today, mostly because I am...I am fighting through a lot of things I don't understand or really cannot give a voice. Not because I don't want to, but I am just tired. and weak. and afraid. and human. So when I returned to work today, my face obviously showed all that I had on my mind. So the attendant told me, "You don't look like your normal smiling self." I told him that I was having a rough day and that I was working through some things.

The next thing he said stunned me. "God says you are going through a period of testing. And He is waiting to see how you are going to do on the examination."

I made it to the office without breaking down to cry and immediately called my friend to tell her what he said. She reminded me that I have been in a testing period for the last few months....really since I have come back from Ghana.

And then God reminded me of 2 scriptures that have been my theme for a few years (Message version...I like the Message),

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." (James 1:2-4).

"We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" (Romans 5:3-5)

The Message Bible's version of Romans 5:5 reminded me of the widow in 2 Kings 4. She had nothing left but a jar of oil, and was on the point of losing her sons to slavery. Even in the midst of her nothingness, the Lord appeared with abundance. Because of her alert expectation of God...she received...abundantly. So I will stay alert and waiting. It's going to be good.

I WANT MORE BEANS

Urgh...it's been forever since I have last written. I've moved again. I've been to some cool conferences. I am taking some awesome classes. I have hope that I am going to graduate. I've written a new song that I really like. But for now, the talk is of beans. Yes, beans.

A few weeks ago, I was helping my cousin babysit his niece and nephews. They are hilariously funny and always a joy. They got hungry and my cousin decided to start dinner for them. He made pork & beans and weiners - always a hit with the kiddos. He opened the can, doctored them up and served them. While the kiddos were eating, he noticed that everyone would probably still be hungry so he started another can of beans.

From the quickness in which the food was eaten he obviously didn't start the second can soon enough and soon we heard an emphatic voice from the high chair saying, "I want more beans!!!"

"Okay, littles," he said. "I'm making them for you and they will be ready in..."

"I want more beans!!!!!" she interrupted with a louder voice.

So then I tried to calm her by saying, " Littles, Uncle is making you some more beans, but first he has to...."

She glanced at me briefly before saying even louder, "I want more beans!!!!!"

No matter how much we tried to convince her that the beans would be ready soon, that we didn't want to give them to her cold, that they wouldn't taste good if Uncle didn't take some time to make them....It didn't matter the reason and she continued to shout with increased volume,

"I WANT MORE BEANS!!!!!!"

"Uggggghhh," my cousin moaned in annoyance. "I am trying to get them ready for her. Why does she think I am not going to give her more beans?...I started them before she even asked for more."

Soon the beans were ready and he put them on a plate for her. She cheerfully chomped them down and was satisfied.

Later that night I thought to myself, "That was so weird how Littles kept screaming about those beans."

God: You do the same thing.

Me: ummm...I don't remember yelling to You for more beans...

God: In your prayer life.

Me: [insert deep internal OUCH]

Matthew 7:7-11“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"

So many times I "pray" to God about the same things. "God I need you to do this," or "why hasn't THIS happened," or "don't you see that I need..."

And if I would just be still in His presence and listen, I would get an answer like, "You know I saw you needed that, so I am setting things up for you so when you receive it - it will be perfect," or, "That's not the best thing for you, but I have something better," or "I heard you and I am getting it ready for you - it's coming," or even, "My grace is enough."

Instead of beliveing that He is a good Father who has the best for me, I think He isn't attentive to me. And my prayers sound like, "I WANT MORE BEANS"

Lord, teach us how to pray. Give us grace to trust You more.
In Jesus Name
Amen

faith...

i decided i want more of it in my life.

i don't want to just believe that God can do anything, i want to know that He can do anything.

i want to see the exceedingly abundantly.

i want to taste the goodness of the Lord on earth, as it is in heaven.

i want to see miracles. not just a miracle of an answered prayer for something in my own life. i want to see miracles in the lives of others.

i want to hear the doctor tell my grandma that they have no idea where the brain tumor went.

i want to hear the voice of my cousin evangelizing to others about the goodness of the Lord.

i want more faith.

seeds...

This time of the year always makes me wished I had planted something. Anything. Some beans at least so I can see them grow. I have a good friend who during the cold days made a greenhouse of her desk and by now probably has a full grown watermelon at this point.

I went home last week and my dad and I went to the greenhouse and got some presprouted veggies. Though he didn't plant the seeds, he got them at a point in which they were small and he could place them in the ground and eventually reap the harvest of those small plants. While choosing different veggies he wanted in his garden, we carefully read the labels and picked out plants that would yield a good number of vegetables. We chose a few, took them home so that they could be planted.

This got me thinking though about the people who plant and never see the harvest. Whoever planted that Roma tomato seed in the seedling container had no idea whether or not what they planted would grow into something fruitful. They would never see the product of their labor. And for them it's ok. They have to trust that whoever is going to get that plant is going to take care of it so it will yield whatever it's meant to yield.

I had a seed planting experience last week. I was at a popular fast food place with a friend when a young lady in line behind us engaged us in conversation. We talked, shared with her about our occupations and talked about the yumminess of our soon to be food experience. While my food was being prepared God told me, 'pay for her food." I argued in my head with God for a good five minutes, making one excuse after another why it wasn't a good idea. We ended up at the same register, me in front of her, so I asked, "may I pay for your food?" She freaked out. "OMG. Why would you do that. No one has ever done that for me before. No one is that nice - why do you want to pay for my food?" AWKWARD. I didn't tell her that I really didn't want to pay for her food, but I wanted to be obedient to God. So I shrugged, asked her again and she still said no.

Although initially I felt God left me out on a limb, I realized He knew there was some heart soil that needed a seed. Or some heart soil that had a seed and it needed watering.

I realized that sometimes we are not the ones who will see the produce/harvest. Sometimes we need to plant or water and let it go.

God help us to be laborers for the harvest. We don't want to be people who shrink back, but rather be people who march forward boldly and confidently in obedience and willingness. Give us clean hands, a pure heart, and a humble and willing spirit. Whatever the task may be, put a yes in our hearts and minds. In Jesus name. Amen.

my soul sings...

Lately my soul feels like its been singing. I am finding that in the freedom of God, we are able to experience the joy of God. The joy of knowing that He takes care of us. The joy of knowing that He's thinking about us. The joy of knowing that He has good things for us. The joy of knowing that His plan for us is wonderful. The joy of knowing that He leads us in paths of righteousness. The joy of knowing that He is truly in control.

This joy lets our soul sing.

It's a joy that can't be taken away by anything. A joy that doesn't fade. A joy that overflows even though the earth around us be shaken.

This joy lets our soul sing.

As I am continuing to listen for the song of joy in the midst of everyday life I am realizing that it is what helps us to live rather than just survive. The Bible declares that the joy of the Lord is our strength. So when we are in the midst of struggle, in the midst of shaking, in the midst of turbulence, we just don't survive it - but we live and we are strengthened.

This joy lets our soul sing.

Lord, we thank you that the joy of the Lord is our strength. that You alone are our strong tower that we can run into and be safe. that you are our refuge, our fortress, our God in who we can trust. Thank you that you make us happy. Let our soul sing. Let our hearts cry out for more. We love you. In Jesus name. Amen.

God is good.

God is good. It's three words, pretty simple, but they hold a lot of power and meaning. He's good.

Over the last couple of days I have been reminding myself that God is not one who dashes our hopes, bursts our balloons, or lets us down. He is so good. And He does good. And He thinks good things about us.

It's so easy to forget this when things don't go our way or when we don't know why things are happening the way they may be happening. I personally think the heartwrenching moments happen because we live in a broken world. But I also believe that God's heart hurts when our heart hurts.

A friend and I were talking about suffering recently. She shared stories she read of Christians who were tortured, or just had really hard and difficult lives, but in the midst of all of it still declared God's goodness. Regardless of the situation, they realized that God is always good.

I want to live in the place where I believe in the goodness of God. There are times that I think that God is only doing good at certain times, or that His goodness expires after a few good things have happened. But that is so not true about God. He is good and His mercy for us endures forever.

We are always on His mind. His love for us is infinite and extends in ways that are unimaginable. He is good.

A birthday gift of LOVE

You may think this is a late post because it's not Valentine's Day anymore, but it's so on time for my life. It was a marker for me to realize how strong love can be and this is my first time to rest in its realization. While I hope my "he makes my toes curl" love finds and pursues me soon :), my hopes for knowing what love feels like were met in a real and amazing way.

I have had a weird three weeks, to put it lightly; the latest story being that I had an awful stomach virus or food poisoning the day before my birthday (the 14th). And friends, at least half of whom have known me less than 6 months, cared for me in ways that proved that real love can't be bought, bargained for, or earned.

At so many junctures of my life I can look back and see how I have tried to make people love me, do things to be loved more, or prove that I am deserving of love. It might have worked for a little, but it didn't satisfy, and didn't last.

What I have been learning in the last few months from both God and people is that real love is freeing. It's beautiful and it makes you feel alive. Yes, sometimes it's hard, but then again sometimes it's easy. It's not always fun. But there are times that it is joyous. And sometimes it requires taking a more difficult way. But real love, it's powerful and it lasts.

One of my favorite scriptures right now is found in Song of Solomon 8:7, "Many waters can not quench [the flame of] love nor will rivers overflow it..." It goes on to say that someone can spend all their riches to buy love, but that they wouldn't be able to -it'd be despised. Really think about love like that...a flame that doesn't go out even when a lot of water touches it.

More and more I am realizing the real issue that I and that we all are dealing with is wanting to know love. Real love. Love that doesn't require us to be anyone different and will accept us for who we are, where we are. That's the kind of love that heals us and gives us freedom to live out our deepest self.

I have found myself addicted to things because I was looking for that kind of love. Found myself holding on too long and too tight hoping I could squeeze love out. Even found myself trying to shake love awake when it seemed to be sleeping or even dead. But I don't want to live like that anymore.

My real prayer is that I keep my heart open to receive love and know love. And as I better understand and know love I want to give love in that same measure.

Meeting God as a Healer

Friday night I met God as a healer.

I have taken communion. I have heard and spoken that Jesus shed His blood so that we could be free from sickness and disease. But, I admit Friday was the first time I truly grabbed hold to the wonder working power of the blood.

Friday night I met God as the One who has compassion and is moved when we are sick.

I have read the stories in the Bible of how Jesus was moved with compassion and healed. I have had hands laid on me to receive the healing power of God. But, Friday I receved a glimpse of what it means to have faith, even as small as a mustard seed and see the power of God at work.

A little over two weeks ago I started coughing. A consistant cough that wouldn't go away and surely didn't seem to be moved by medicine. I didn't think much of it as I wasn't running a fever, didn't have body aches, and needed to keep up with both work and school.

Friday though, I realized that I needed to see a doctor. Diagnosis = pnuemonia. I got a little nervous as my first thought was the stories of people I'd heard with walking pnemonia dropping dead because they could still function while being sick. My second thought was a bit of an disapointed response as I had just come off of an intensified time of seeking God and now this. Thirdly, I knew I needed to call people to pray.

A friend with insight and faith invited me to come to a healing service. My friends both near and far started praying. I made up in my mind to believe. And with the reminders of faithful encouraging friends I have kept believing and am still feeling/seeing his healing power at work in my body.

Lord I believe, help my unbelief - that has been the cry of my heart all day. Lord, help my unbelief.

My good friend Desi reminded me today - what's the point if we aren't going to believe? What is the point?

What is the point in which we decide to choose faith over fear? What is the point in which we decide to move forward in our faith instead of going backwards, or even staying in the same place. Where is the point when we let the voice of victory drown out the voices of defeat?

Friday night I met God as a healer.

His Word is true when he tells us that by His stripes we are healed. His Word is true when He tells us to shout with a voice of triumph.
Lord, help my unbelief.

Getting UNstuck

So lately I have been feeling very stuck. I don't know if you've ever been there, but its that feeling where you know something is shifting, but you aren't quite sure how to flow along with it...oh, and added with the feeling that the energy to shift if you could actually know how to shift is gone.
Stuck.
I met with a friend/spirtual advisor early this week and he encouraged me to trying praying in new and creative ways in seeking God to find energy and freedom. One of the things he suggested that I do is to write a prayer to God and imagine what His answers may be. I want to share with you my prayer...

Frenika: God, I feel really unsure about everything right now.
God: Why?
Frenika:I am not quite sure how to move forward and a little bit at a loss for what I should be doing now. My energy is gone and I am not even close to where I thought I would be right now.
God:Let my joy be your strength.

I had to think about this. I like laughing, but I guess there are some areas that I haven't let joy reign in/on. I do think when I let that joy saturate into those places. The passion and energy will be there as well.

Lord, help me to let your joy saturate my heart, saturate my life, and saturate all that I do. In Jesus' name.

Caretakers

It's been a while since I have written last. My life has honestly been a blur of regular work, school work, and moving. My latest adventure includes moving into an intentional Christian community in the Chinatown area of Washington, D.C. Through all the hiccups and the challenges of living in a new space, with new people, and still trying to put my phone and/or my glasses in the same place everyday to find them, it has been a beautiful thing to learn what it means to live in relationship with others.

Last night, I had an experience that made me realize that I need to start writing again. At about 2 a.m. my roomie, suitemate, another member of the community and I engaged in a conversation on which I am still reflecting. The other member of the community who was in this conversation is about as opposite from me as one can get - first this member was a he, he is also very tall, and he is also white. He is from a part of the country where 50 degrees is considered a heatwave, whereas I will make sure to have my coat handy if it even appears the temperature will dip below 60 degrees. He shared an experience that bothered him as a male and challenged us females that we needed to stand up for him in certain situations. I admit, initially I was a little skeptical - as in how often does one who is in the majority culture need someone to stand up on their behalf in the face of injustice? Not often, if at all. Yet, if it did, would I be willing to stand up for him?

I started thinking about the role God gave Adam when he was planted on this earth - to be a caretaker. Not only did Adam name things, but he was placed in charge of tending and keeping things in order. Yes, a lot of things changed after the fall, but I still believe we are called to be caretakers - especially of each other.

What would the world look like if we stood up for some injustice against someone else? How much stronger would our relationships be if we chose to challenge each other - not through judging each other, but a challenge to grow in truth and in love? How much would the world be changed if we, instead of silently sitting by waiting for someone else to stand up, took a stand?

Our stand sometimes doesn't even have to be that deep. It may be standing up to say one thoughful thing to each person you encounter in a day. It may be sitting with the homeless person simply to find out how their day went. Perhaps it is asking your boss if there is something you can be praying and beleiving with him or her.

I pray the prayer of St Francis of Assisi...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

Take off Your Shoes...

There are two places in Bible when God has asked someone to take off their shoes because where they stood was holy. Both on Thursday night, a guest minister, and on today, my pastor each used one of these scriptures. My pastor (check out http://www.faicm.org/) today shared with us that the holy ground marked a place of victory and a place of prosperity and abundance.

I asked God to show me what he was saying to me through taking off my shoes upon standing on holy ground. The response I heard was this, "Be still and know that I am God." I didn't understand it at all at first, and asked God again what He was speaking to me through these scriptures. Again, I heard, "Be still and know that I am God."

I thought about it for a minute, mostly thinking on the purpose of shoes. Though barefoot running is coming back in style, most people wouldn't dream of walking out of their home without shoes (if they can help it). The last thing I do when preparing to leave is putting on my shoes. Shoes signify movement or preparing to go somewhere.

So when God was telling me to be still and know, I really believe He was telling me take off my shoes, stand in this place of knowing Him- this place is holy.

It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. It's even easier to get caught up in just life. One thing happens, and then another thing, and then you have to take care of something else. And your 8 a.m. day time start on what you really need to be doing turns into a 6 p.m. start.

Take off your shoes. Be still and know.

I know that I am in a season of some turning points. These turning points are bringing me into my place of victory and also into my place of abundance.

But right now Lord, my shoes are off and I will be still and know...

Treasure

Life is funny in that there are times that you can seem to know exactly what you need to do to get things done. The energy is there, the drive is there, the desire is there, and the resources are there. But what do you do in the times when you aren't quite sure what to do, what to pray, don't have a sense of how things are going to happen, simply feeling drained, or not knowing where the resources are coming from? And why do these times seem to come when you need the answers the most?

I thought about the man who sold all His possessions to buy a field because it had a treasure in it. As I read this scripture in Matthew 13, another scripture jumped out at me in verse 16, "But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear. " In the times when we really don't seem to know what to do, we need to declare this over ourself...blessed are our eyes because they see the vision....blessed are our ears because they hear the answers.

Back now to the man with the field...
1) He found the treasure
2) Got excited about it and decided it was worth having no matter what the cost
3) Sold all his stuff to buy the field
4) Bought the field so that the treasure would be rightfully his

It's work to find the hidden treasure and once we do find it, it requires us to make a choice - how bad do we want that treasure? We find hidden treasure in prayer, in spiritual growth, in the Word of God, but even then we have to make a choice - how bad do we want it? It's work to have spiritual disciplines. It's work to fast, to pray, to live Christlike...but I'm starting to believe it's not enough to stay just there. How bad do we want this treasure? This man sold all he had to buy the field. It cost Him everything. I can imagine a conversation this man had with his family...

Family Member: You're about to sell all your stuff to buy a field?!? You already have a great house!

Man: But there's something in this field I need...

Family Member: Well, why don't you get another job and save your money...I mean your training in your field was exceptional, I am sure you can save enough money to buy it and keep your stuff too...you just seem a little too eager to be getting this field

Man: No, the cost is great and it will take me years to save that kind of money. Something is telling me that I have to have it now...

Family Member: Well, I think it's crazy...don't ask me to stay here when your field floods...

How bad do we want the treasure God has for us? When we realize how great and how exciting it is I believe the enemy tries to make us wonder if this is the field we should really have. We wonder if this treasure is all its cracked up to be..."I mean there are probably a thousand other fields that have better treasure on them." So we wait for another field or do nothing more at all. And sometimes obstacles come that try to keep us from "making enough money." So we are never able to buy it - and that treasure we found is never rightfully ours.

I am changing the subject abruptly, but I'll come back....Bartering is such a great way to get things you don't have, or to get something that's of worth for something you don't consider valuable or as valuable anymore. So why do we find it so hard to trade our sorrows for joy, or our fear for love, or even our doubt for faith? Why is it so difficult to let go of the hindrances, the hurt, the pain, and the scars? When God asks us in Isaiah 55 why we buy bread that doesn't fill us, or labor without satisfaction, I really believe He is asking us, "why don't you want to spend your money to get this field? - that's where the treasure is."

As I finish this post - it doesn't feel finished. I still don't know exactly what to do. I feel overwhelmed by a lot of things and unsure about even more. But, more than ever I am realizing that my true heart's desire is not to just see the treasure in the field - I want it.

Don't Get Lost

Some Sundays I ride the bus to the National Mall. My activities vary between people watching, reading, or simply walking around. I was in a walking mood the last time I went and saw two women sitting on a bench while about five or six children ran around them. As I got closer, one of the women took the hand of a child and started walking across the grassy area. They couldn't have walked more than ten steps when a four-year-old girl yelled out, "MOM!!!!!!!" The woman turned around and looked at her. The little girl continued with the most serious face that a four-year-old could muster, "Don't get lost."

Though I initially chucked, as I thought more I realized that themes of being lost, or conversely, staying on course by being guided, run throughout the Bible. We see God throughout the Old Testament as a Shepherd - not only guiding, but seeking lost sheep. We learn in the New Testament more about Christ's mission - there are the parables of the lost coin and the shepherd who goes after that one lost sheep.

That little girl's voice rang in my ears for a few days, and I realized there are moments when I feel lost. I may think I am going one way for a reason, and when I look up time has flown and I seem nowhere near the place I had in mind. But, in those same moments, I trust I am being guided - and the beauty of having a Shepherd floods my soul.

Usually, resolutions seem more appropriate at the year's beginning. But, today I ask US to make one. I say “us” because I don’t want to leave myself out of this one! Continue to let the Shepherd guide us. Continue to let His will be done in our lives. His path is always best, and He doesn't ever want us to be lost. So, today I remind you, and I remind myself, "don't get lost."

How Shall I Live?

Though I really really really (did I mention really) wanted to chill this summer, I decided to take a Sociology of Religion course at Wesley. Since we receive three credits in the course of 2 weeks, you can imagine how much reading and information I am being exposed to right now. Tonight though, I had a little bit of a breakthrough in being reignited to see justice roll forth like springs of righteousness in our world.

It started as I was reading one of the text and a phrase jumped out at me, "How Shall I Live?" the author posed it as a question we answer for life-altering decisions like career choices and places where we decided to locate our lives, but also to answer questions that make decisions about what we choose to wear.

How shall I live?

Then in class we started discussing the industrial complexes that are part of our society. Like the pharmaceutical-medical industrial complex - a industry that brings in millions in profit, while many Americans don't have access to basic healthcare.

How shall I live?

Where is my voice when thousands of American prisioners are laboring at grossly unfair wages to put together products I may use on a regular basis. Is this labor part of the "time" they owe to society?

How shall I live?

What do I do when I know that there are schools in the same school district that educate at a different qualities, and realize its quality is based on the funding capabilites of its neighborhood?

How shall I live?

I am not saying I can save the world from all its problems. And I truly don't believe that we all should be involved in every cause. More than anything though, I encourage you to find a cause you are passionate about and make an effort to make a difference. Educate yourself about our world...Did you know the majority of our world's population lives on $2 a day? I didn't until tonight.

We should begin to ask our deepest self just a bit more, "How shall we live?" Our future self depends on it.

Don't let him get away...

I have been away from writing for a few weeks, some of it being contemplation, some of it being "yeah - no school!", some of it just not knowing what to write...

I was inspired tonight by something that happened at the metro station. While with a friend who was taking me to the metro, we saw three people running like mad from the station.

"Maybe," my friend quipped, "they are running for a bus."
"They sure are running fast," I responded.
We watched, shrugged our shoulders, and I got out of her car and walked towards the station.

People were still standing there watch the people run. I walked closer to a woman who was talking on her cell phone.

"Girl, it was like something out a movie scene. This man grabbed her purse jumped over the gate and she ran after him screaming "HELP!"...then some guy started running after them too."

My first thought - the woman who got her purse snatched should just let it go, that man could have a knife...a gun -it's so not worth it. Then my next thought - there were a lot of people who saw it happen, continued to watch it unfold, and did nothing.

I kept thinking about this and while I got off the metro, God spoke to me...

How often do you watch someone's spiritual purse get snatched and do nothing?
~God, I don't think I have ever heard of a spiritual purse...

Then this scripture in James 5 came to me...

19 My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, 20 you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. (NLT)

I am reading a book that contends that in looking at behaviors of the generation that includes ages 16-early thirties, behavior patterns are virtually indistinguishable between born-again Christians and those in this age group who claim no religious affiliation at all. For example, in looking at the two groups, percentages in viewing pornography are similar and percentages in the number of curse words a person uses in conversation are indistiguishable.

As Christians there are times when we may struggle with certain areas in our life and it is a daily battle to conform our will to Godly living. It takes the power of the Holy Spirit to truly live Christ-like. Yet, what are we really doing to help our own self and others to live in this power? It's so easy to wander from the truth. How many people do we know (even ourselves) who the enemy is trying to snatch the very life out of and we watch and say nothing? I am not saying we should judge anyone. It's not our place, and we all have issues and struggles that we deal with by the second. However, we should find it a privilege and responsibility to help someone get their "purse" back.

- How do we help a friend who claim says they really know the love of Christ, yet we know is hitting the bottle every time they want to "relax?"
- How often do we ignore the fact that we ourselves may be really struggling with something, yet refuse to seek help or counsel, because it's really not that bad?
- How do we stop glossing over behavior that is not Christ-like because we don't want to hurt somebody's feelings?

I don't think these answers come easily or quickly. I think it takes a lot of prayer. A lot of love. A lot of hope. And a lot of sheer determination that we won't let the enemy get away with our purse or anybody else's.

Flawless

Not too many things are flawless. My grade in statistical regression was far from flawless. The fact that this posting is just appearing, despite my Sunday/Monday deadline is truly not flawless.

In fact, it is hard to find flawless things in this world. We make mistakes. We give empty promises. We lose our cool. Even material things...For example, one of the ways that diamonds are rated is on their level of flawlessness. There are reports of our water being tainted with pharmaceutical drug traces. There are special soaps to wash the pesticides off of our fruits and veggies.

Now really think of anything flawless. Think about it. Name three things. Too hard? Name one thing. Okay, I've got mine...

The words of the Lord.

Really. I spent this weekend with my best friend and while I was doing my best pretending like I would stay awake with her while she finished her sermon, I thumbed through the Psalms and I stopped at Psalms 12. Verse 6 puts it this way...

...the words of the LORD are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times.

Another version uses "the words and promises of the Lord..."

They are flawless.

That means all that the Lord has spoken to you and over you is flawless.
Not a mistake.
Doesn't need a retraction.

Flawless.

My prayer...

Lord, encourage my heart to believe the truth of your promises over my life. Give me the strength to hold on to Your promises and words and the wisdom and courage to let go of the words that aren't from You. I will rest in knowing that Your words are flawless. I trust You as You lead and guide me in Your paths of righteousness.

He helps us

Recently I read a devotional in which the author recentered his focus on God with a reminder prayer to God something to the effect of,

"I only am because of Your help."

I was struck by the humility, truth, and the simplicity of this prayer. We are - only because of the help of God. When we are tempted to do wrong, when we get tired of doing right, when we get weary in just being. Remind God and yourself, "I only am because of Your help."

And because He is faithful to us (Deut.7:9), and because He won't give us an unbearable burden (Matthew 11:30), and because He cares (1Peter 5:7), and because He knows that we are dust (Psalm 103:14), and because He came that we could have abundant life (John 10:10), and because He is loving (Eph 2:4), and because He is kind (Psalm 117:2), and because He is good (Psalm 118:1), and because we are written on the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16), and because He desires us (thanks Lauren M. for this reminder), and because we are His (Psalm 100:3)....

He helps us.

I don't know how to explain it or if it is worth trying to figure it out...but when we extend our faith to Him, He meets us. And He helps us.

In the midst of us being tired, in the midst of us losing sight of the vision, in the midst of feeling broken, in the midst of us being angry, or even a slight bit confused...

He helps us.

My prayer....

Lord God, empower us even more by Your Holy Spirit. Strengthen us to press for the mark of the high calling which is in Christ. We need you. We cannot make it with out You. Every ounce of our being needs You. Our life, our souls and our hearts cry out for more of You. Meet us.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

What WOULD Jesus do?...

Tonight I went to an event hosted by Sojourners called the Mobilization to End Poverty. It was powerful. The church was packed with people from all over the country, from all faiths, and of all colors. Howard University's Rankin Chapel Choir sang the house down and left many of us in awe of God through the worship. We heard powerful speakers and leaders share their testimonies as well as empower us to go forth and be change agents in ending poverty.

I left the church feeling strengthened and joyful. As I walked further down the sidewalk, I saw something that made me feel as I had been hit with a ton of cement. Three homeless men lay in an entryway of a building connected to the church. I stopped walking for a moment and then not knowing what to do, kept walking and got in my car. I sat in my car and watched as about 20 people pass these men, only about 3 of the people, from what I could tell, even noticed that they lay there. I found myself a bit heated knowing the Word we just heard. Most of the people at the conference worked full time in anti poverty missions and ministries. While I won't judge because I don't know what was on the minds or hearts of any of the people who passed by these men, I do know that these men are still our neighbors. My spirit became even more convicted. I was still hesitant because I wanted to do something and didn't know what to do. So I leaned on what I am learning is my only source of direction - my communication with God. I asked God what I could do and just like the friend He promised to be to us, He told me. (This I will leave between me and Him...)

When will we let the love of God infiltrate our hearts so much that it will be impossible to pass by someone in need (physical, spiritual, emotional)?
When when we realize that we have the answer to a world in need?
When will we truly lay everything of our own down, pick up our cross and follow Jesus?


My prayer...

Lord, forgive me for the missed opportunities to be a blessing or to help someone in need. Give me sensitivity to the needs of those around me and the courage to respond to them. Empower me to live a life worthy of the calling You set before me. Let the fruit of the Spirit be evident in me. Replace the selfishness in me with kindness and gentleness. Replace the fear in me with Your love. Replace the doubt in me with faith and hope.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Strength

I have been thinking lately about strength. What it means, what it is, how to get it, how to maintain it....

What's the first thing we do when we are feeling tired? We rest, perhaps pop a couple vitamins, or step up our workout regime a little. This might tie us over for a bit and sustain us. But, what do we do when it seems that all of life's cares seem to snatch the life out of us? Vitamins and exercise won't take care of that kind of weakness. I believe that this is what Paul is trying to tell Timothy (I Timothy 4:8) when he talks about "exercise profiting little" but God wants to give the "promise of life." Oh, it does some good to exercise and build our strength that way, but knowing and trusting in our God profits us in all things.

Reach out to God when you are feeling weary, weak, sad, confused, broken. He has strength for us.
Call upon God when you have no one to talk too, no one who seems to care, or no one who seems to see. He has strength for us.
Ask about His joy, His peace, His kindness, His gentleness. He won't withhold it from you.

My prayer...

Lord, you know that we are fragile, yet you tell us that You will never place more on us than we can bear. Show Yourself strong when we are weak. Give us joy as our strength. Give us Your mind to continue to press forward and look ahead to the prize of the high calling in Christ. Keep our minds focused on You and Your movments so that where You go, we will follow You always.

In Jesus Name

Doorman

I read a quote last week that astounded me and it has been posted on my Facebook wall since...

Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered. No one was there.

Lately, my prayer has been that God answer the door to certain things that knock on the door of heart. It's amazing because it takes that much more pressure off of me to give a fitting answer to these visitors. It's funny what happens to certain vistors when the right "doorman" takes care of the visitor. When I read this quote I envisioned fear bolting before faith could even turn the doorknob. I imagine visitors of anger, envy, strife, and hatred being met by love and peace. I see visitors of doubt and depression being answered by joy and life. We need a "doorman" for our heart.

I am not saying that it is not okay to have or feel emotion, but it is what we do with these things that determine the state of our heart. We are encouraged to guard and be protective of our hearts (Prov 4:23). When we do this we are able to live in abundant life rather than the state of everything around us. What I am realizing though is that Jesus is the only One with the power to answer everything that tries to enter our heart. When He is the doorman it protects us from letting in the wrong visitors. When He is the doorman it shelters us from pains and hurt some visitors may try to bring. When He is the doorman we can truly let Him be in charge of the fights and temptations to which we would lose. When he is the doorman we can live less stressed and more free knowing that the God who rules the universe, is actively living in our heart.

My prayer....

Lord, be the doorman of my heart. Keep me from answering to anything that is not like you. I give you full control to guard my heart and my life. Let Your will be done and not mine. Let Your thoughts and ways be what guide me always.

In Jesus' name. Amen