AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

The title of this posting is the noise that I made at the podiatrist yesterday. Is this a TMI (Too Much Information) moment? Probably. So, I won't go into too many details :)

I am allergic to novocaine. Yes, really. If you question it - you are not alone. Read the following example...

Doctor: Are you sure you are allergic to novocaine?
Me: Yes
Doctor: How do you know?
Me: Last time I had it my whole body went numb.

The doctor then looks at me suspiciously and writes furiously on his notepad.

This is exactly what happened yesterday at the podiatrist. The one thing I wasn't expecting is that he did not have the substitute for novocaine, to which I am not allergic.

Doctor: Well, I am going to have to go in...
Me: In where?
Doctor: Your toe
Me: Are you going to numb it?
Doctor: I don't want to take the risk of you having a reaction.
Me: Stunned Silence

I was okay for a few seconds, but the next few moments of my life I spent yelling.

My toe still hurts. I think it hurts worse than it did when I first went. I am visibly limping today and it's only because my big toe hurts. People always say this, but it really is hard to grasp unless it happens to you - you never know how much you need a body part until something happens to it that limits your abilities.

It's the same way in the body of Christ. Really. Your gifts, your talents are needed to make it flourish. I read about some of the things that go on in church or in the body of Christ and wonder, "if we all used our talents and gifts for the body of Christ, how much better off would our world be?"

I know I have some gifts that need to be used and I pray that you and I walk through every door that will be part in bringing forth the Kingdom of God.

I know why the crackhead bird sings

"Crackhead bird?" you might ask. "Yes," I respond, "crackhead bird." Those who know about SE DC know that bird could have quite possibly have gotten a hold of something it should not have eaten...i.e. crack. I can tell you that even in birds - crack is wack. How do I know this? Because of the bird who insisted on singing to me and my neighbors beginning around midnight. Not just last night, but every night this past week. Most birds start their song in the a.m., like daylight a.m. This I don't have a problem with - it's nice in the morning. But midnight!! This bird has some issues! I was really annoyed because it was hot and those who know me know that I do not turn on air condition until July 1 - so my windows have been open. Last night, however, he was extremely vocal. I mean every different bird chirp you could think of, this bird chirped. Every bird song a bird could possibly sing, this bird sang. After about thirty minutes of this though, I couldn't help but laugh. Then slowly, that laughter became thoughts about this bird and what I could learn from it.

Why does the crackhead bird sing? Quite simply, because it has a song. Not just a song, but the song only that bird can sing. Even though that bird seemed to be in a jacked up situation (mainly from whatever caused it to sing all night rather than during the day - my theory - crack), it was still singing. The depth to this is no matter how low we are or how low we may be feeling, we still have a song in our heart. Even when our days are dark and dreary and we really don't seem to have mornings, we still have a song. Even if you are in a midnight time in your life - sing your song. Even if the the other birds aren't singing - sing your song. Even if your circumstances say you shouldn't be singing - sing your song.

I started tearing up a little when I wrote this because I can relate to that bird - NOT the crack aspect. : ) Lately, I have found myself randomly singing, which over the last few months has been nonexistent. Like, today I was making a lot of copies at like 4:20 (I am supposed to leave work at 4:30), but I found myself happily singing. I am not exactly in my "joy cometh in the morning" stage of life, but I know God put a song in my heart so that I can continue to thrive, no matter what! That's exciting! Even when we are in midnight stages - still trying to figure out who we are, what our call in life is, what we are supposed to be spending our time doing, how we can juggle everything we need to, what the economy crunch means in our life, [fill in your own personal blank]...God still gives us a song.
I encourage you to find it. And SING!

O Death - Where is your victory?

Few things grieve my heart more than hearing about a death. Not long ago close friends of mine lost a dear friend from high school. Members of a church family lost a husband and father. Another friend's hairdresser lost both her Grandmother and coworker within a week. My downstairs neighbors lost their five month old baby just two days ago.
The baby's death hit me the hardest. I went to visit him in the hospital last week - he was born premature and hadn't made it from the incubator yet. "He is a fighter" his parents told me while smiling at him. He was indeed. That baby was on oxygen, an IV bag that gave him nutrients, another bag that kept him from moving so that he would not lose energy, and another bag that contained morphine to keep him from feeling pain. He had just lost a finger overcoming a battle with a staph infection. Yet, he was still alive - still fighting. I was honestly shocked when my neighbor called me with the news of his death.
Death is hard - even with its commonality and link to life. None of us are promised another day, another hour, or another minute. And I pray that God will give us long life in order to accomplish all that we are called to do on this earth. So I am not trying to make this a sad moment, but a real one, a moment to assess. I am asking you though - take a moment and assess. What are things you would regret not doing in your life? Why haven't you done them? If the time to do these things are later in life, have you started preparing to make them happen? Are these things seemingly unreachable? What will make them reachable?
I am going through a phase right now where I am being forced to answer some of these questions. To be honest - the answers are more in reach that I thought...though they will take a leap of faith :), but they are all in reach. Quite possibly you will find that your answers are in reach - a closer reach than you previously thought as well.

My quarter life calm

I remember wondering as a child what life would be like when I finally became an "adult." I envisioned myself "doing lunch" with important people, making important business plans, and just being important. That what adults do - I thought. Looking back on these naive imaginations, don't think I would have thought about being an adult much if I really knew what life would be.
At 25 and about 3 weeks now, I am pretty sure I qualify as an adult - after all I can check off a new age range in demographic survey boxes. I can also now rent a car. To be honest though, a part of me feels like I have not grown up by my own choosing. This adult self has times when it longs to hear the bell for recess, or even looks around for crayons and a coloring book. As I look at these present imaginations, I realize that part of me wants to experience life as a kid again.
Is that the crisis of the quarter-life? Is it feeling like you've been forced to be a grown-up by making grown-up decisions, like going to work and paying bills? Or is it realizing you are an adult, but aren't as important as you imagined? Or could it be understanding that life is not as simple as you remembered it?
Today though, more than any other day that I can remember, I came to a juncture in which I knew I needed to make some decisions in my heart. Though some of the feelings I am experiencing may be characterized as somewhat of a "crisis," one of these many heart decisions is that I will NOT allow this time in my life a crisis. It is going to be my calm. The future me will look back at this time and say - "I am where I am today because of those great moments in my quarter-life calm."